Why Relationships Fail Pt.2

(..................Continuation from Why Relationships Fail Pt.1)

Thirdly, Respect.

By respect i don't mean calling of names such as Daddy, mummy and so on.

I mean Showing differential Regard or Esteem for your Spouse

To avoid Violation or interference with your spouse and

Willingness to show Consideration or appreciation

(Definitions above from The Free Dictionary)

Friends though the above definitions are self explanatory

I want to relate them to certain vital aspects of Relationships

Have you ever wondered what goes through your spouse's mind

When he tells you to do something in a particular way, and you do it otherwise

He asks you why and you reply

"My friends, My Mother, My Pastor etc. said it would be better this way"?

- Lack of Regard!

I know i would offend some people on this next one

Listen

Do you know what you Portray when you decide not to tolerate

His mother and his Family?

-Lack of Consideration

If you have consideration for your spouse,

You would understand that

He/She cannot be at peace when his family decides to mount pressure on him

based on your five minutes show of "This is my house"

As if your Mother-in-Law does not know that already.

 Know this

No Man, I repeat NO MAN is at peace when his family is at WAR with his wife

The Problem is compounded when the wife

He is supposed to defend now goes on to attack the family

In that case, most times, the man become torn between both sides

Before you know it, It ends in turmoil.

I chose these two examples because it is the most recurrent.

Think about this

The fact that you succumbed to his opinion

Does not mean you are foolish

Neither does it mean that his idea is best

It simply portrays that you are mature enough to treat him as the HEAD

No matter how you see it

Men have EGO which they protect than LIFE

Take that away from him and you Lose him.

I know what I am talking about

I Sincerely wish Ladies can for a minute

Forget about Woman Emancipation

As if someone is keeping them in bondage and

Take their Rightful place

Not behind the man as his slave or

in front of him as his Master

But Right by his Side as a helper

Please Please and Please Ponder on the following

Though men have Bloated ego,

If you can make yourself trustworthy and submissive

He would naturally hand over his Self-will to you

That man you see as an egocentric Fool

So full of himself and unreasonable

Has a Lady, who in most cases

Might not be as pretty and knowledgeable  as you

To whom he relates everything

-His fears, his dreams, his Plans and

Even decisions he plans to take about his Family-

Let me amaze you

The girl in question might even be a Prostitute, 

an illiterate cook, a Cleaner or Office assistant or even an house-help.

I have seen this happen severally

And Guys if you have Respect for that woman

You won't want to humiliate her

What you Respect you would Regard, Esteem Have Consideration for

And above all you would Protect with Care

Guys Stop Battering that Woman!

If you need a Punching bag,

VISIT A SPORTS SHOP

Ladies running your mouth anyhow

And saying unreasonable words cos you think you are hurt
is worse than Physical abuse.

Many have committed suicide

Cos of what someone said to them.

Furthermore, guys listen to your woman

Ladies rant a lot but communicate a little

When she tells you she wants to tell you something

irrespective of how well you think you know what she wants to say

No matter how busy you think you are

Stop what you are doing, Shut up and Listen

The moment she sees you as inaccessible,

and God help you she finds solace in someone else

The chances of her drifting is high.

Listening to her shows Regard and that's what Respect is about.

Finally, LOVE

I know we all claim to love the one we are with

And Believe me. I deliberately chose the order

From UNDERSTANDING to CARE to RESPECT and finally LOVE

Cos i believe that you cannot CARE for what you don't UNDERSTAND

RESPECT what you do not CARE about

And LOVE what you do not RESPECT

I dont care how much you claim to Love or

For how long you have been together

If you get violent and hurt that woman at will,

Or unleash hurtful words on him when you are hurt

Your LOVE is QUESTIONABLE.

To further illustrate this

How do you feel when you buy an expensive phone

And it slips from your hands and hits the ground

You feel hurt why?

Cos you appreciate and Love the phone

Now explain to me why you would consciously

Inflict injury on the one you claim to Love and be comfortable

I believe that

Every affair starts with Attraction

Then comes affection, fondness and Love

But the truth is this

Many people stop at Attraction and call it Love

Others at affection, few at fondness and Very few actually get to Love

Love is a Reality that is beyond our feelings

Yet we have made it an illusion

Love is real fellows, i have felt it and i know what it feels like

If you have ever felt Love, you cannot settle for anything Less

Love engulfs and Consumes your personality

Emotions, Principles and ego and

Very Importantly, If it is true and selfless love,

It is contagious. Therefore it is Mutual.

"We LOVE God because He First LOVED US"

The Problem is this

Many of us cannot recognize the Love of our life

Even if he/she was formed into a bullet and shot directly at our heart

Cos our perception about Love is thwarted, twisted and Mundane

Please before you claim to Love

Get your perspective right and

Discover for yourself what Love is

If your Love does not have elements of

Understanding, Care and Respect,

No matter how strong the emotional attachment is

I can assure you that It is far from LOVE

I am a believer in Love -undiluted, unreserved and selfless

Because i grew up in a home where it was never Lacking

My parents has been married for 47years now

And never in my over 30 years with them,

Did i hear my Dad raise his voice at my Mother

Let alone his hand and vice versa

Despite the fact that his siblings describes him as 

Very hot-tempered which my Mother confirmed

The difference is

She took time to understand, Care for and Respect him

And he in turn Adores her Like she is the World to him

If you want to get my Fathers approval on anything,

Discuss it with my Mother First cos

Her opinion on the matter is final

I believe everyone deserves the right to be happy

There is someone out there

Whose heart beats in unison with yours

For those who has found it, cherish it. Never let it go

For the single ones

Please decide to get it Right

The statistics of Unhappy Couples is so alarming

that if something doesnt change,

Generations after us would see relationships and marriage 

as a business contract.

Believe this

No matter what people think,

YOU DESERVE THE RIGHT TO HAPPINESS!

Beliefs in illusions against Reality,

Living the thoughts and principles of others

(which they themselves do not practice) and

Lack of Understanding, Care and Respect and Love for

First yourself and secondly your Spouse is the Reason

...... WHY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL