Why Relationships Fail Pt.1

I have always wondered

Why people get so much in love one moment

and fall apart the next

Why one get so involved in a relationship as if his/her life depends on it

sooner than later, he/she is longing for an escape route

Below are my deductions.

I believe that Relationship fails when the

pivotal ingredients of every successful relationship Is receded to the rear and frivolity or mundane things are projected.

What are the ingredients of every successful relationship?

First is....

UNDERSTANDING

a.    Understanding the Reason for the relationship

Many enter relationships on a "trial by error" basis
all they will ever find is fault and complaints.

Some indulge in relationships for personal and
material gain.

Relationships should not be utilised for personal gains

Nor be an avenue, by underachievers - whose only asset is their good looks, physique and smooth talk, to get bills paid.

Any venture without purpose will definitely crumble 

no matter how long it endures.

b.   Understand your spouse

Let me start by saying this

There is no defined set of rules for a blissful Relationship

Because we are all unique

with different morals, values, orientation and upbringing.

These factors moulds our feelings, emotions, sentiment and reaction

Which in turn forms our Principles, rules and ethics.

Therefore,

Your mother's formula might not work on your spouse

Understand your spouse for yourself and derive your own formula for relating with him

Your friends definition of a singular act he exhibited will mostly be incorrect

Because, they have neither the parameters nor the knowledge

with which to make a decisive judgment of his character

Same goes for guys.

The fact that you started dating Ladies at 15yrs
and have dated over 50 Ladies
does not make you an authority in deciphering a Lady's mind.

Get to know each Lady as an entity cos what appeals to one might not be acceptable to the other.

I have a mentor who gets gross with his wife when his food is not served as soon as he returns from work.

This caused countless issues in the home till the wife got to understand

That the man would rather starve than eat out

So he comes back home famished

Meanwhile she believe he should have had something for lunch

cos she grew up among boys who sees nothing wrong in eating out.

Please Understand Your Spouse for yourself!

Second Ingredient is..........

CARE

Care is defined as: 

- Feel, concern or interest; attach importance to something or Someone (dictionary.com)

- Have a liking, fondness, or taste (for) (The free Dictionary)

- Painstaking or watchful attention (Merriam Webster)

The care i am talking about is not just buying of gifts and material things

We have redefined Care to the point where we quantify it by material things

This is wrong!

That is the reason Ladies stick with one who batters them one minute

and buys them a Porsche ride the next in apology

Wake up Ladies!

Soon he would buy a very expensive pimped up coffin

with the latest MacBook Pro, an Apple iPad inclusive and a BoomBox.

The only irony is How would you would hear the music play.

How do you Care?

- You get so interested in what happens to your spouse no matter how minute or insignificant you think it is

- You would get involved in his/her projects and proffer meaningful 
    and well thought out ideas geared at enhancing their life's worth

- You would be careful not to hurt the one you care about.

This is the reason i do not believe that

A guy who batters his spouse cares one bit.

If you deform her in the process would she still be attractive to you?

Friends,

There are words you cannot throw at the one you care about

No matter how much hurt you feel inside

This is the spot we all get it wrong (including me)

Words are like bullets once it is released,

Its scar remains for life

Please watch what you say to the one you claim to love

It might be a defining factor in the life span of your relationship

Even if you later apologize and she Forgives

She would always remember the words you used on her

...................To be concluded next week...........................................