HACKING YOUR LIFESTYLE

Back in the day, I had a friend who loved to travel. As in... she set a goal to make international trips at least 4 times a year.

We (poor people) used to see her as a 'money miss road', but when I got to really know her, I realised she wasn't even rich, just DETERMINED to acquire specific experiences.

She would scrounge and live as cheaply as possible in order save up for her trips.

I was able to understand her approach a lot more when I started studying Personal Development.

If you've been surrounded by lack and scarcity all your life, it can be hard for the mind to accept prosperity when it eventually comes.

Sometimes, you have to subliminally hack your mindset and belief systems.

YOU DON'T NEED A LOT OF MONEY TO DO THIS!

See ehn... The Nigerian version of poverty is sick. It leaves many people open and exposed to abuse by the bastards of this world.

Some people have suffered so much that it can feel unreal for a well dressed person to address them politely, "Welcome, sir." or "Have a nice day, ma'am" or even "What would you like?"

At least once a week or month (depending on your wallet), go to Four Points by Sheraton, Eko Hotel or Raddisson Blu Hotel with a budget of 12k.

7k for the lunch buffet and approx. 5k for an Uber/Taxify ride depending on where you live.

Dress like a million bucks, get your face beat and absorb the feeling of being chauffeured as a 'madam' around the city. Eez your money.

Enjoy the feeling of being driven to the lobby, not the hotel gate oh... the very lobby where the uniformed bellboys smile like they're happy to see you.

Smile back as they say, "Welcome to Radisson Blu, ma'am".

Even though you know your way, do like say you miss road. Go to the reception and ask them where the restaurant is. I'm adding this so you get to talk to people who are OBLIGATED AND TRAINED to be nice to you.

Get to the restaurant and REQUEST a table with a perfect view. Then go to the buffet and EXERCISE YOUR POWER TO CHOOSE.

Get back to your table and eat the delicious food slowly, not in a hurry. There's no scarcity here.

You belong here.

When you get back home, your mind will begin to change.

The experience itself will not make you rich, but your self esteem will greatly improve.

When your self esteem improves, you begin to feel like you deserve more.

When you feel like you deserve more, you get more confident and creative on how to get more.

Your mind will be stimulated to imagine more creative product ideas and monetization streams. You'll start calling up important people who can help make this happen for you.

Do 'money miss road things' at least once a week/month.

- Go to a stage play.

- Come together with friends and rent a private beach house for a day.

- Breeze into a coffee shop just to enjoy the scents and exceptional quality of service.

With these experiences, you'll go to bed with high quality images and dream in colour.

You'll wake up with better quality ideas and matching levels of courage.

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Na so I take make my 1st million.

This was the real reason I paid to attend Steve Harris's MBT event in 2014. It wasn't really for the information per se.

I heard it was holding at Protea Hotels, plus I wanted to be in a room where everyone was talking about millions continually.

After that event, my mind had shifted.

33 days later, an opportunity came that I would normally charge 80k for, but I wasn't the same guy. Courage and creativity emerged from a reserve I never knew existed.

What was shyness again?

I carried myself and made my pitch like an Omo Baba Olowo.

I charged 3 million. They paid.
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See, regardless of your background it is possible to enjoy the best things of this world in your lifetime, but your old conditioning will attempt to play tricks on you to hold you back.

Play tricks on your mind too.

HACK YOUR MIND.

- J.O.

Don't get married if.....

There has been so many write-ups on how to know you are ready for marriage

i woke up this morning to a very inspiring piece titled

DON'T GET MARRIED IF.... 

I kid you not, it is the most sensible checklist i have read so far about marriage

Hence my desire to share it.

Friends, save this, take a time out, relax and digest the following

As usual, your comment, shares and criticism is welcomed.

Don't get married if

1.   If you’re not ready to delay gratification when you are angry.

To hold your tongue, lower your voice and sometimes wait till the appropriate time, to deal with an issue thoroughly.

Immaturity is the inability to delay gratification. Marriage is for the mature.

2. If you’re not ready to leave center stage and allow someone else to become your focus, your study, your muses… don’t get married.

3. If you are not ready, to stand up and calmly deal with meddling in laws as a united front:

The opinionated sister, the insensitive uncle, the domineering father, the manner less brother, the nosy aunt...

4. If you are not ready to pay bills. LOVE DOES NOT PAY BILLS!!

Electricity companies will not give a waiver because your love is so strong and your gazes at each other are so romantic

5. If you are not ready to let go of your opposite sex “best friends” and invest that into your spouse.

To like, to laugh, to play, to be silly and to enjoy life with them, above anyone else..

Most times Affairs happen because people did not marry their best friends. 

Someone else holds their heart. Someone else gets them better.

Someone else inspires them more. Marry your best friend and cultivate your friendship so that you remain best friends.

6. If you are not ready to stop competing with the Jones'. Let the Jones' buy their yacht when you are still walking, and enjoy the walk.

Your journeys are different. You must be ready to pace yourselves: stop competing, stop spending your future before you get there. Stop the debt, stop trying to impress people. Be content.

Enjoy your journey without deciding your happiness simply by measuring your progress against other people.

7. If you are not ready to be an open book. To tell the whole story of your past, deal with the memories, exposé the failures and risk rejection

The past is a touchy and demanding friend.

It doesn’t enjoy being ignored and the more you snob, the bolder it becomes and the more tantrums it throws.

It will mess up the “neat” and “all together lovely” image that you are struggling to maintain.

8. If you are not ready to let go of your philandering and wild oats farming.

Don’t take somebody’s son or daughter and subject them to your germs, your indiscretions and your chips fungus. It never ends well.

9. If you are not ready to let go of the adrenaline rush of a risque life and to settle down

The great Columbus had a diary that was long sought for. People wanted to read about the wild journeys, the sea tempest the reckless pirates they fought, the death and the danger they must have encountered. When it was found, there was great disappointment.

Majority of the pages simply had 5 words: “This day, we sailed on.”

Marriage, like life in general, has many “we sail on” days. You have to learn to find the thrill in the normal everyday of it

If you depend on wild romance, all night sex, romantic cruises, wild parties, compulsive moves across continents tempestuous fights and make up sessions to be happy, you may be disappointed.

You have to learn to thrill in gentle smiles, loving hugs, knowing looks, cozy moments, shared chores, everyday work dreaming together, PRAYING together and simply living together.

If these things are not thrilling, exciting and satisfying, you will look for a way out.

The one you choose must be thrilling to you even in the most mundane of moments.

10. Finally, don't get married just because you feel, you will not feel forever. Love is hard, marriage is harder.

You're in for a rude shock if you marry because you get butterflies in your tummy at the thought of him/her. (Find out the lifespan of butterflies.)

Most importantly, if you're a Christian (not just by title) pray for your marriage partner constantly!

…………..Shared by Kaluba Chiwala follow her on twitter @missdimples_21

Be Responsible

Is it not funny how much we long for peoples approval?

How much productive time is wasted waiting on one to give you a go-ahead

Friends

No matter how well meaning someone is

You and your matter will be attended to at the their spare time

Challenge now is can the person in question sacrifice his own needs for your wants?

I believe one becomes an adult when he become responsible for himself, his actions and his decisions

An adult isn’t meant to be dependent on another to make decisions that will affect him directly

That is not to say you cannot seek direction and advise when in doubt

But if you get to a point where all your life’s decision is influenced by another

Such that the fellow can even brag about it,

Then you really need to grow up

It is annoying when someone says

It was Mr A or Aunty B that influenced me to do it

Don't you have a brain? Is your brain on vacation?

Of what use is your head if it is not being used?

Fellows there is a reason why misbehavior at a particular age was termed as “Youthful exuberance”

Challenge is most adults have refused to grow.

If you need to make a decision

Think it through properly, gather your facts and

Make a decision please make it YOUR decision

Irrespective of the respect you have for whoever advises you

Do not send your brain on vacation because of him

Think for yourself and in all your doings

BE RESPONSIBLE!!!

What is your Identity

Identity is "the state of remaining the same one under varying aspects or condition" - webster

It can also mean the set of character, the qualities, beliefs, etc., 

by which a person or thing is defined.

We live in a world where many have an identity crisis

Partly because most set of belief and morals imposed on one from youth have shallow basis

we live in a world where trend is super-dynamic and sometimes because

we have this enduring desire to be accepted by all

we engage in the act of shape-shifting,

blending into any environment we find ourselves like a chameleon.

This goes on till one loses his sense of belonging

Losses track of his persona

So much that he might be amazed at what he has become

Like the prodigal son

For people to be able to define you

You need to first understand who you are

What your dreams and purpose in life is

And take concrete steps towards achieving those dreams

Only then will you imbibe characters and traits

Which will propel you towards those dreams

Afterall, It is said that the whole world gives way

to the one who knows where he is heading

The one whose identity is defined

Becomes a role model, a mentor and ultimately a leader

While the shape-shifter will always struggle for recognition

Make no mistake about it

Men pleasers are never seen as serious-minded

Take a stand for yourself today

Decide what character and traits is consistent with your nature

And make a choice to always present yourself in the way that is just you

Believe me, in most cases, those you bend backwards to please

Do not give a hoot about what you have to put up with to impress them

And in the long run you will become everybody's foot mat

The only one whose opinion counts in your affairs

And who you should always aspire to please Is the almighty

Identity can also mean "An exact same or likeness"

In this view you can assume the likeness of something 

or someone you identify with 

How can one say he is a "Christian" and lack the likeness of christ?

How can you claim to be Gods child and behave like the devil?

Think deeply about the following questions

What comes to mind when you are remembered?

How do people define you?

How do you define yourself?

What is your identity?

No matter how you define yourself

how people around you define you is your identity

There is a song we used to sing

"If you say you love the saviour, in his steps you will always live, 

if you say your sins are forgiven and gone, then prove it by the life you live"

Take a Step Back

The human race is so engulfed in life's race

That all he thinks about is progress, continuous forward movement and

Sometimes an evasive sense of advancement

Without evaluating the merits and demerits of such move

I know we all believe in the slogan "forward ever, backward never"

But I believe there is a reason for which the best of strategists

Take a time out for retreat to evaluate benefit of 

decisions made, steps taken, within a specified period

The reason is this for them to understand the impact of their decisions 

on the expected outcome and take steps to fine tune future plans

In order to make better decisions for the future,

you need to know the following

1.            The tangible benefits of your previous decisions

2.            The pitfalls encountered

3.            The disparity between your expected result and actual

4.            Steps needed to improve future result and

5.            Resources needed for the next step

Without catering for the above points, which is not an exhaustive list,

tangible progress cannot be made.

Anyone who doesn’t "count the cost" can never really learn

In counting your cost - taking stock- you get to find out your true position

Relative to steps, risks and resources spent in taking you from point A to point B

Only then will you be able to make concise and informed decision.

So Friends

 Sometimes meaningful progress can be made by simply

Taking a step back.

There is a Yoruba adage that states that "ti iwaju ko ba se lo, eyin a se pada si"

Meaning if forward movement isn't feasible, one can simply

TAKE A STEP BACK