Don't get married if.....

There has been so many write-ups on how to know you are ready for marriage

i woke up this morning to a very inspiring piece titled

DON'T GET MARRIED IF.... 

I kid you not, it is the most sensible checklist i have read so far about marriage

Hence my desire to share it.

Friends, save this, take a time out, relax and digest the following

As usual, your comment, shares and criticism is welcomed.

Don't get married if

1.   If you’re not ready to delay gratification when you are angry.

To hold your tongue, lower your voice and sometimes wait till the appropriate time, to deal with an issue thoroughly.

Immaturity is the inability to delay gratification. Marriage is for the mature.

2. If you’re not ready to leave center stage and allow someone else to become your focus, your study, your muses… don’t get married.

3. If you are not ready, to stand up and calmly deal with meddling in laws as a united front:

The opinionated sister, the insensitive uncle, the domineering father, the manner less brother, the nosy aunt...

4. If you are not ready to pay bills. LOVE DOES NOT PAY BILLS!!

Electricity companies will not give a waiver because your love is so strong and your gazes at each other are so romantic

5. If you are not ready to let go of your opposite sex “best friends” and invest that into your spouse.

To like, to laugh, to play, to be silly and to enjoy life with them, above anyone else..

Most times Affairs happen because people did not marry their best friends. 

Someone else holds their heart. Someone else gets them better.

Someone else inspires them more. Marry your best friend and cultivate your friendship so that you remain best friends.

6. If you are not ready to stop competing with the Jones'. Let the Jones' buy their yacht when you are still walking, and enjoy the walk.

Your journeys are different. You must be ready to pace yourselves: stop competing, stop spending your future before you get there. Stop the debt, stop trying to impress people. Be content.

Enjoy your journey without deciding your happiness simply by measuring your progress against other people.

7. If you are not ready to be an open book. To tell the whole story of your past, deal with the memories, exposé the failures and risk rejection

The past is a touchy and demanding friend.

It doesn’t enjoy being ignored and the more you snob, the bolder it becomes and the more tantrums it throws.

It will mess up the “neat” and “all together lovely” image that you are struggling to maintain.

8. If you are not ready to let go of your philandering and wild oats farming.

Don’t take somebody’s son or daughter and subject them to your germs, your indiscretions and your chips fungus. It never ends well.

9. If you are not ready to let go of the adrenaline rush of a risque life and to settle down

The great Columbus had a diary that was long sought for. People wanted to read about the wild journeys, the sea tempest the reckless pirates they fought, the death and the danger they must have encountered. When it was found, there was great disappointment.

Majority of the pages simply had 5 words: “This day, we sailed on.”

Marriage, like life in general, has many “we sail on” days. You have to learn to find the thrill in the normal everyday of it

If you depend on wild romance, all night sex, romantic cruises, wild parties, compulsive moves across continents tempestuous fights and make up sessions to be happy, you may be disappointed.

You have to learn to thrill in gentle smiles, loving hugs, knowing looks, cozy moments, shared chores, everyday work dreaming together, PRAYING together and simply living together.

If these things are not thrilling, exciting and satisfying, you will look for a way out.

The one you choose must be thrilling to you even in the most mundane of moments.

10. Finally, don't get married just because you feel, you will not feel forever. Love is hard, marriage is harder.

You're in for a rude shock if you marry because you get butterflies in your tummy at the thought of him/her. (Find out the lifespan of butterflies.)

Most importantly, if you're a Christian (not just by title) pray for your marriage partner constantly!

…………..Shared by Kaluba Chiwala follow her on twitter @missdimples_21