Rise Again

I know your are hurting, I hurt too sometimes

Life has not been fair, You feel like giving up

I understand things are not going

The way you planned

Is there any assurance in Life?

Your soul is burdened beyond your ability

You have been stretched beyond your elastic limit

Breaking point is so in sight

That which you care for has been Lost

Happiness gone and devastation a replacement for Joy

All you appreciated and nurtured gone with the wind

There is no succor in the tears you shed

Tho nothing lasts forever

Why was it cut so short in its prime?

All your hope for a blissful life vanished

You find no joy in Living

He broke the promises he made

Despite the sacrifices you have made

You built what you saw as your home with him

Now he left you out in the cold devastated and destitute

A spectacle to strangers and a fool to acquaintances

In spite of all you may be going through

THERE IS HOPE!

Through your sorrow and pain,

Though weeping endure for the Night,

Joy comes in the Morning

We are quick to say NOTHING LASTS FOREVER

If we truly believe this

Then it is also applicable to that situation you are facing

No matter how much you hurt

No matter the magnitude of what you have lost

Like Tramaine Hawkins

Do not lose your Hope
Never Lose your Joy

Do not Lose your Faith and

Please NEVER lose your Praise

There is so much in Life to make one loose it

Many questions begging for answers

But think about this

Is it given to us to fully understand Life?

Can we truly explain all that happens in Nature?

Brooding over Situations Has never helped anyone

It won't start with you

No matter where you are

No matter how far you have sank

Get up!

Dust yourself and

Get back on your feet

Believe this Friends

Its time to............ RISE AGAIN!

Find the Link to Tramaine Hawkins "I never Lost my Praise" @ facebook.com/chaigzystorms

Why Relationships Fail Pt.2

(..................Continuation from Why Relationships Fail Pt.1)

Thirdly, Respect.

By respect i don't mean calling of names such as Daddy, mummy and so on.

I mean Showing differential Regard or Esteem for your Spouse

To avoid Violation or interference with your spouse and

Willingness to show Consideration or appreciation

(Definitions above from The Free Dictionary)

Friends though the above definitions are self explanatory

I want to relate them to certain vital aspects of Relationships

Have you ever wondered what goes through your spouse's mind

When he tells you to do something in a particular way, and you do it otherwise

He asks you why and you reply

"My friends, My Mother, My Pastor etc. said it would be better this way"?

- Lack of Regard!

I know i would offend some people on this next one

Listen

Do you know what you Portray when you decide not to tolerate

His mother and his Family?

-Lack of Consideration

If you have consideration for your spouse,

You would understand that

He/She cannot be at peace when his family decides to mount pressure on him

based on your five minutes show of "This is my house"

As if your Mother-in-Law does not know that already.

 Know this

No Man, I repeat NO MAN is at peace when his family is at WAR with his wife

The Problem is compounded when the wife

He is supposed to defend now goes on to attack the family

In that case, most times, the man become torn between both sides

Before you know it, It ends in turmoil.

I chose these two examples because it is the most recurrent.

Think about this

The fact that you succumbed to his opinion

Does not mean you are foolish

Neither does it mean that his idea is best

It simply portrays that you are mature enough to treat him as the HEAD

No matter how you see it

Men have EGO which they protect than LIFE

Take that away from him and you Lose him.

I know what I am talking about

I Sincerely wish Ladies can for a minute

Forget about Woman Emancipation

As if someone is keeping them in bondage and

Take their Rightful place

Not behind the man as his slave or

in front of him as his Master

But Right by his Side as a helper

Please Please and Please Ponder on the following

Though men have Bloated ego,

If you can make yourself trustworthy and submissive

He would naturally hand over his Self-will to you

That man you see as an egocentric Fool

So full of himself and unreasonable

Has a Lady, who in most cases

Might not be as pretty and knowledgeable  as you

To whom he relates everything

-His fears, his dreams, his Plans and

Even decisions he plans to take about his Family-

Let me amaze you

The girl in question might even be a Prostitute, 

an illiterate cook, a Cleaner or Office assistant or even an house-help.

I have seen this happen severally

And Guys if you have Respect for that woman

You won't want to humiliate her

What you Respect you would Regard, Esteem Have Consideration for

And above all you would Protect with Care

Guys Stop Battering that Woman!

If you need a Punching bag,

VISIT A SPORTS SHOP

Ladies running your mouth anyhow

And saying unreasonable words cos you think you are hurt
is worse than Physical abuse.

Many have committed suicide

Cos of what someone said to them.

Furthermore, guys listen to your woman

Ladies rant a lot but communicate a little

When she tells you she wants to tell you something

irrespective of how well you think you know what she wants to say

No matter how busy you think you are

Stop what you are doing, Shut up and Listen

The moment she sees you as inaccessible,

and God help you she finds solace in someone else

The chances of her drifting is high.

Listening to her shows Regard and that's what Respect is about.

Finally, LOVE

I know we all claim to love the one we are with

And Believe me. I deliberately chose the order

From UNDERSTANDING to CARE to RESPECT and finally LOVE

Cos i believe that you cannot CARE for what you don't UNDERSTAND

RESPECT what you do not CARE about

And LOVE what you do not RESPECT

I dont care how much you claim to Love or

For how long you have been together

If you get violent and hurt that woman at will,

Or unleash hurtful words on him when you are hurt

Your LOVE is QUESTIONABLE.

To further illustrate this

How do you feel when you buy an expensive phone

And it slips from your hands and hits the ground

You feel hurt why?

Cos you appreciate and Love the phone

Now explain to me why you would consciously

Inflict injury on the one you claim to Love and be comfortable

I believe that

Every affair starts with Attraction

Then comes affection, fondness and Love

But the truth is this

Many people stop at Attraction and call it Love

Others at affection, few at fondness and Very few actually get to Love

Love is a Reality that is beyond our feelings

Yet we have made it an illusion

Love is real fellows, i have felt it and i know what it feels like

If you have ever felt Love, you cannot settle for anything Less

Love engulfs and Consumes your personality

Emotions, Principles and ego and

Very Importantly, If it is true and selfless love,

It is contagious. Therefore it is Mutual.

"We LOVE God because He First LOVED US"

The Problem is this

Many of us cannot recognize the Love of our life

Even if he/she was formed into a bullet and shot directly at our heart

Cos our perception about Love is thwarted, twisted and Mundane

Please before you claim to Love

Get your perspective right and

Discover for yourself what Love is

If your Love does not have elements of

Understanding, Care and Respect,

No matter how strong the emotional attachment is

I can assure you that It is far from LOVE

I am a believer in Love -undiluted, unreserved and selfless

Because i grew up in a home where it was never Lacking

My parents has been married for 47years now

And never in my over 30 years with them,

Did i hear my Dad raise his voice at my Mother

Let alone his hand and vice versa

Despite the fact that his siblings describes him as 

Very hot-tempered which my Mother confirmed

The difference is

She took time to understand, Care for and Respect him

And he in turn Adores her Like she is the World to him

If you want to get my Fathers approval on anything,

Discuss it with my Mother First cos

Her opinion on the matter is final

I believe everyone deserves the right to be happy

There is someone out there

Whose heart beats in unison with yours

For those who has found it, cherish it. Never let it go

For the single ones

Please decide to get it Right

The statistics of Unhappy Couples is so alarming

that if something doesnt change,

Generations after us would see relationships and marriage 

as a business contract.

Believe this

No matter what people think,

YOU DESERVE THE RIGHT TO HAPPINESS!

Beliefs in illusions against Reality,

Living the thoughts and principles of others

(which they themselves do not practice) and

Lack of Understanding, Care and Respect and Love for

First yourself and secondly your Spouse is the Reason

...... WHY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL

Quality Of Life

Life is not a bed of Roses

This is a phrase i was reminded of through childhood

But over the years i discovered that

Many people made their bed of Roses out of life.

After all as you make your bed, so will you lie on it.

Irrespective of the quality of your bed,

What determines its comfort is how you make it.

Friends Know this

Life is not a gift, It is an investment

Gods investment to us

And we all will be accountable to God

How we managed this investment we call our Life.

Like every investment,

How we manage it determines, its quality, worth and Value.

I know life your has not been easy,

I understand it is has not been fair (seemingly) and

full of trials and tribulations (whose isn't?)

i know your peers are way ahead

and their life seems to be that you dream of

but consider this

if Gold goes through the same and exact process as Limestone

of what essence would its value be?

Though both Limestone and Gold goes through the furnace

Gold needs to tarry a while longer 

for its true potential to be unleashed

Friends some of us are Gold others are Silver

Therefore our refining process differs

I have never seen any refining process

Which is sweet and pleasurable to the material

In fact the purity of a product is determined by

How thorough and rigorous it refining process is.

Everyone has issues, Challenges and trials

The difference between you and the happy fellow is Perspective

The quality of your life would change 

only when your perspective changes

Trials and challenges are a vital aspect of Living

Whether you like it or not and would only cease

When you cease to exist.

So stop living as if you are carrying the world on your shoulders

Yours is just a fragment and everyone has a share they carry.

You are facing that challenge because you have the capacity to bear it

And God can work out something positive out of that situation

It did not come your way to make you miserable

You need to change your perspective.

That is all that matters

I had an issue years back and was so pissed

That it affected my relationship with my parents,

My spouse, my friends and i even became bitter with God

(yea it was that bad)

Imagine a Jobless Graduate with Good grades

Who throughout school did not indulge in anything illegal,

And even out of school when Yahoo was in vogue

Decided to believe in what is right

Now all virtue i believed in looked like foolishness

And the Yahoo boys i knew mocked me

One day on my way to Ikeja

I saw a guy who was paralyzed from waist downward,

Lying in front of ikeja secretariat, begging

I stood there and observed him

while he was chatting with someone with excitement in his voice

and cheerfulness on his face

after a while i approached and gave him some money

he looked up at me and with smiles on his face

said GOD BLESS YOU!

My heart melted!

As i left him i looked up and from the depths of my heart

Told God how grateful i am for his mercies

though i don't deserve them, he has been so gracious to me

Think about this

If you, who has two legs, two hands , the faculty to reason

And the strength to move about

Find no reason to be cheerful, 

what would you do if you were that guy on the street,

Paralyzed, dragging himself for locomotion,

And living off people through begging.

What if you were that Blind guy

Who have lived the whole of his life looking at Darkness?

Is your Life worth more than theirs?

Did they choose to be that way?

No Sir! No Ma!

Many have been bed ridden for longer than they can remember

I know someone who spends a fortune on the drugs she must take everyday

For over 15years i have known her and she still finds joy in Living

Please let's get our perspective to life right and stop being ungrateful

Desperation can only make us vulnerable and Gullible

It is true you need a man to call your own

And you cannot wait any longer

Sweetheart,

I wish you know the number of Ladies who met their true Love

After they married another man

Now they are stuck

Wishing they waited a little while longer

Some rushed into what they felt would be lucrative

Cos they had become desperate, despite the warning signs

Now they are looking for a way out and

those who are out living as single mothers

Patience is a Virtue we all need to develop

Think your situation is worse?

Wait till you hear someone else's story

Please get your perspective right

Every loss should make us remember that nothing is permanent

Failure should teach us how to plan effectively

Disappointments shows us inconsistency of man

And make us to trust in the unfailing God.

Unfaithful friends and friendly enemies should teach us

To be careful who we associate with

And help us to appreciate Good and Faithful Friends when we find one

Broken relationships should teach us the right way to Love

And create in us the desire to have a Blissful Relationship

Life's experiences are meant to toughen us and make us a helper to others

Not make us miserable, a snub and an introvert

All things works together for Good to them that Love (God)

Know this

As long as we are alive

We would always have challenges

As long as we relate with human beings

We would be hurt and offended

As long as we breathe

We would have cares and worries

That is without question

Our perspective, disposition and attitude

Matters a Lot

Cos that is what determines

The quality of our Life we live.....

Why Relationships Fail Pt.1

I have always wondered

Why people get so much in love one moment

and fall apart the next

Why one get so involved in a relationship as if his/her life depends on it

sooner than later, he/she is longing for an escape route

Below are my deductions.

I believe that Relationship fails when the

pivotal ingredients of every successful relationship Is receded to the rear and frivolity or mundane things are projected.

What are the ingredients of every successful relationship?

First is....

UNDERSTANDING

a.    Understanding the Reason for the relationship

Many enter relationships on a "trial by error" basis
all they will ever find is fault and complaints.

Some indulge in relationships for personal and
material gain.

Relationships should not be utilised for personal gains

Nor be an avenue, by underachievers - whose only asset is their good looks, physique and smooth talk, to get bills paid.

Any venture without purpose will definitely crumble 

no matter how long it endures.

b.   Understand your spouse

Let me start by saying this

There is no defined set of rules for a blissful Relationship

Because we are all unique

with different morals, values, orientation and upbringing.

These factors moulds our feelings, emotions, sentiment and reaction

Which in turn forms our Principles, rules and ethics.

Therefore,

Your mother's formula might not work on your spouse

Understand your spouse for yourself and derive your own formula for relating with him

Your friends definition of a singular act he exhibited will mostly be incorrect

Because, they have neither the parameters nor the knowledge

with which to make a decisive judgment of his character

Same goes for guys.

The fact that you started dating Ladies at 15yrs
and have dated over 50 Ladies
does not make you an authority in deciphering a Lady's mind.

Get to know each Lady as an entity cos what appeals to one might not be acceptable to the other.

I have a mentor who gets gross with his wife when his food is not served as soon as he returns from work.

This caused countless issues in the home till the wife got to understand

That the man would rather starve than eat out

So he comes back home famished

Meanwhile she believe he should have had something for lunch

cos she grew up among boys who sees nothing wrong in eating out.

Please Understand Your Spouse for yourself!

Second Ingredient is..........

CARE

Care is defined as: 

- Feel, concern or interest; attach importance to something or Someone (dictionary.com)

- Have a liking, fondness, or taste (for) (The free Dictionary)

- Painstaking or watchful attention (Merriam Webster)

The care i am talking about is not just buying of gifts and material things

We have redefined Care to the point where we quantify it by material things

This is wrong!

That is the reason Ladies stick with one who batters them one minute

and buys them a Porsche ride the next in apology

Wake up Ladies!

Soon he would buy a very expensive pimped up coffin

with the latest MacBook Pro, an Apple iPad inclusive and a BoomBox.

The only irony is How would you would hear the music play.

How do you Care?

- You get so interested in what happens to your spouse no matter how minute or insignificant you think it is

- You would get involved in his/her projects and proffer meaningful 
    and well thought out ideas geared at enhancing their life's worth

- You would be careful not to hurt the one you care about.

This is the reason i do not believe that

A guy who batters his spouse cares one bit.

If you deform her in the process would she still be attractive to you?

Friends,

There are words you cannot throw at the one you care about

No matter how much hurt you feel inside

This is the spot we all get it wrong (including me)

Words are like bullets once it is released,

Its scar remains for life

Please watch what you say to the one you claim to love

It might be a defining factor in the life span of your relationship

Even if you later apologize and she Forgives

She would always remember the words you used on her

...................To be concluded next week...........................................

The Enemy Within

Why do things happen to us?

How do they happen?

Why does good happen to one

And evil to another?

Does things happen by chance or

Do we play a part in what happens to us?

Friends You are Responsible for what happens to you

How it happens and When it happens.

Though you might either agree or disagree but

Let's examine together how things come to be

Firstly, understand that there is a level of reality
beyond what our senses can comprehend

In fact, our senses only record/recognize a tiny fraction of Reality

Do you know that right there where you are,

There are beings and forces around you

which influences you positively or negatively

depending on which command you issue to them

(i do not mean to scare anybody just stick with me)

How do you give these commands?

By your thoughts, words and actions.

Your thoughts define your words and your words define your actions

These determine, ultimately, what happens to you.

Let me point out that sometimes
your actions might move contrary to your thoughts,

An example is one who is involved in a business
but sees the business as a failed venture.

There is no way he would make an headway in it.

Therefore precedence is given not to what you say or do

But what you think!

How do things come to be?

Let's go back to the beginning.

Before God created the earth, He had a picture (in his mind)

What he wants and how he wants it.

He dint just set out without a blueprint.

He had conceived it in his mind before it came into existence.

Therefore the ability to create comes from within the mind.

The problem is that we undermine the power of our mind

And when we decide to engage it, we do so in unproductive things

Do you know that there is a branch of science

whose main objective is to study the power and potentials of the Human mind?

(Carry out a research on Neotic Science you would be amazed at the findings)

I Know we are told that it is dangerous to think but

The problem is not in thinking but what you think about

There is Greater danger when you dont think at all.

Please engage your mind.

The strength of your mind affects your environment

It affects your poise, words and your actions.

These are what determines the kind of people you attract
and ultimately, what happens to you.

This has got nothing to do with

Who your pastor says is bewitching you

You cannot get positive results when your will is submitted to negativity

Think right.

See yourself in the place of bliss and rest in your mind

Then God will cause your steps to move to that place of rest

After all,

"As a man thinketh in his heart so is he"

Do you know that some people live through life in anticipation of a tragedy?

Some people do not believe they can have a blissful relationship,

A Loving spouse and a peaceful home.

I spoke with someone who told me that

His generation is cursed so it's pointless doing anything to advance himself

Cos it will not succeed.

Therefore, he believes he would always live off people, like a beggar.

Peeps with this kind of mentality

Even if you give him millions, he will amount to nothing
till he gets his mindset right.

We all have an area of our life which seems challenging

For some it's their relationship

I heard a lady say "if a guy says he love you, buys you things, treats you nice,

he is a pretender, there is nothing like a good guy, all guys are the same"

I was like wow!

I inquired about her and was told that she isn't married at almost 38.

Will one be surprised?

Cos the way i see it with that kind of attitude and mindset

She would scare every guy away

Even if they are genuine

yet

I know a widow with 2 kids who got married at 40 to a single,

never married young guy almost her age

Please turn off that timer in your head 

and live your life and enjoy living even if you are 50.

Life is all about perspective.

What do you think about?

How do you perceive yourself?

Where do you see yourself in ten years?

What kind of life do you see yourself living in the future?

These are the landmarks you set subconsciously

Which materialize in reality

The fact that your parents are poor

Doesn't mean you will end your days in penury

That you grew up among separated parents

Doesn't mean you will spend your life alone

I know God delivered you from an abusive relationship

Does that mean you can't have a blissful one

with a wonderful guy, who treats you like you are all he's got?

I know your ex cheated on you

Does that make every Lady a whore?

Get your mind right

Listen

For every thoughts you conceive,

You are sending out commands

Which will be acted on by Angels or Demons

Depending on whether they are Good thoughts or evil ones

Engage your mind positively,

Think right

Recreate your World!

Know this,

Whatever you cannot perceive, you cannot receive

Before you start running from prayer house to a shrine

In search of who is bewitching you

Deal with...

 ...............The enemy within.