Always be Happy

We always hear this phrase that "Life is a bitch"

But I believe its people that make a bitch out of life

Through clamor, backbiting, jealousy, greed and negative vices

Yet one way or the other we expect someone to be our source of happiness

Know this

At any given time, people have their own issues, challenges, trials and temptations

And everyone reacts to the above differently based on orientation, training and beliefs

While one is carefree about his issues, another gets depressed by them

How then do you expect one who is depressed by his own issues

To give be your source of happiness?

This is so unrealistic!

It doesn’t matter if the person is the love of your life

Your family, acquaintance, colleague, friend or foe

Everyone have their down times

Therefore, if you depend on others to make you happy

You will spend most of your life being unhappy

Cos human beings are wired to be inconsistent

The key to being happy always is to look within

Irrespective of what's happening around you

If you can find peace within your soul

Then you can gladly sing "It is well with my soul"

Everything in life is all about perspective

What you focus on, brood over and

allow to dominate your thought affects your emotion

where one sees job loss as the end of the world

another sees it as an opportunity to explore new grounds

a dear friend lost her bank job, today she is involved in a venture

which will definitely grow to make her an employer of labor

in fact, I have never seen her being so passionate and determined

like she is about this venture and I am so proud of her

Life throws you challenges and trials

Some by design, others due to erroneous choices

But within whatever challenge you are faced with

Lies the seed for your greatness and uplifting

Its all dependent on your view, mindset and belief

No doctor will tell you that you are of sound health when you visit the hospital

No pastor, imam or herbalist will tell you that no one is after you

But if you have the right perspective and attitude to life

Your altitude becomes limitless

Whatever the situation your are faced with

Did your friends betray you, 

see it as an opportunity to know their true self

Thereby, saving you from future hurt

Did your spouse fail you, it brings to your realization the infallibility of man

Did your family abandon you, sometimes even 

the viscosity of blood is less than that of water

Does all men fail you, 

its an opportunity for you to trust God completely

Your issues might seem so overwhelming but

Believe me, 

there is someone who wish they were in your shoes

Even if life has beaten you to the ground

Get up, dust yourself and forge ahead and

No matter the situation you are faced with

Your life will be better it you choose to

Always be Happy……

Before you pop that question

When you go marry?
Is a question you will always encounter at a certain age
pressure sets in and one goes wife-hunting
Truth be told even the hunter get hunted sometimes
No matter your idea on the searching and finding theory
Like in a computer game we played back then where you select your weapon before the fight
If you select a wrong weapon, you are doomed!
It is true that behind every successful man is a woman but in same vein
Behind every doomed man is one or more women
Therefore before you pop the question search and discover the following

What do you really want in a woman?
This is the starting point cos any project without a clearcut objective is bound to fail
Have a clear cut vision and run with it

Whats your point of attraction?
If you are attracted to her cos of her looks
What happens when it fades
If your attraction is her flawless skin and flat tommy
Wait till she carries a baby
Then you live with the pouch and stretchmarks

Are you positioned to get the kind of woman you desire?
Every project have its requirements
Examining this carefully will help greatly
A lady might date you for trips but just like you
She has her own set criteria for an ideal husband
So positioning matters

How prepared are you?
Finding is one aspect of the project
Keeping her is where the real work is
What is your income?
"Love dont cost a thing" is a lie from hell
You need funds to service love
No matter how many poems you compose and pants you wash
If you do not buy her gifts at certain occasions
Your love is questionable
No matter how well you pretend to care, when the chips are down your true self is revealed
Learn to build your profile, cultivate a habit, shun pretense and packaging
It is easier to live real than to pretend
If you want a caring wife, learn to be caring
If you want a faithful partner, discipline yourself
Marriage is a union
You cannot unite with different mindset and characteristics
Understand that a union is about give and take
Both parties contributing for a united purpose

Who is your partner?
Its true that you cannot fully know your spouse
But you should be able to define her 
Know this
It is close to impossible to stop your partner from a character or habit after wedding
In fact, whatever she displays before, be ready to get it in quantum after the wedding
So define what aspect of her habits you can live with and those you cant manage
This will prevent the excuse of irreconcilable differences

Are you a Man?
Being a man isn't about the size of your chest or the length of your beard
Being a man doesn't even have nothing to do with your genitals
A man is a protector, a provider, independent and responsible (have the ability to respond to situations)
If you are not any of the above, forget it
Being a man also involves having a great level of emotional stability
I kid you not
Your emotions will be tried beyond whatever breaking point you think you currently have
Therefore, you need to have an uncommon emotional strength
Else, you will become an abusive husband

If you answered the above noted points in the positive
Go ahead and pop the question
If not, take a while and build yourself
Marriage isn't for the ill-prepared
In fact no matter how prepared you think you are
You will constantly be tested, tried, re-tried and tempted
In a nutshell, get your acts together

Before you pop that question.... Else disappointment awaits..

After the wedding

Make no mistake about this Family is everything,

watching a generation emerge and groomed is a blessing

All these cant happen legitimately without you saying "i do".

Do you know that, like an apprentice,

you are being prepared, all your life ,

for the moment you will be responsible for a family,

the happiness of a people - your parents, in laws, wife,

children and community?

But this reality become tangible

at the point you find that one person you cannot live without

You deploy your wealth of acquired skills

In wooing her and convincing her parents that you are well groomed

Every training and skill you have acquired come to interplay

Then every resources is deployed

to make the wedding ceremony a success

but after the euphoria of the wedding comes the marriage

While you see her beauty, swag and poise

before and during the wedding

You get to see her untidy and unkempt early morning looks afterwards

Believe me that guy u see as so fresh and clean

may have a room of sweaty, smelly clothes

The soft-spoken, angelic and obedient girl you dated

 can become forceful, domineering and uncooperative

And like a well packaged gift, you get to experience

the true nature of your spouse after the packaging has been unwrapped.

That becomes "your moment of truth"

All the statement of "i love u die" "i cant live without u"

get tried by the fire of quarrels, strife, disagreements and opposition

not leaving behind negative interference and bad advise.

This is the point where the chaff of emotions and

sentiment get filtered and the true value and

belief you place on your union get unraveled

"if you fail in the day of adversity, your strength is small"

Anyone who tells you that his/her wedding dint go through

this phase definition, refinement and redefinition

is the father of all liars

if you could go out of your way to make your wedding a reality,

why can't you give your all to make your marriage work?

My father once said "You see your mother as a saint

cos you are not privy to her shortcomings

If I tell you half of what I have to go through on a daily basis and

she says hers too, you will probably not get married"

P.S: They have been happily married for over 45Years

Marriage is a calling

Parenting is a full-time profession

To live in peace with another you must let go of yourself

To raise a happy family you have to constantly work at it

To be a provider you have to give "all of yourself" and more

To be a successful parent you need to understand that

you are not just training a child but indoctrinating a generation

If you aint ready to do all of the above, and more, marriage aint for you

Cos really after the euphoria of wedding ceremony comes, the task of marriage