Learn to Forgive

Forgiveness has been one topic i always battled with

How do you tell me to forgive someone who hurt me when i know has the capacity to do same again?

Ok, lets assume i could bring myself to let go

How do you expect me and such one who betrayed, used and abused me to coexist and function like nothing happened?

Note: I do not like to pretend and have never had a reason to

But recently i had a sane mind explain to me what rules has guided him on this matter

1.       Never hold anything against family.

No one goes to war with family and wins – be it father, mother, siblings, in-laws -. Even when you think you have won, you are still a looser

2.       Always give room for human error

If you expect perfection from people, you are naive. No one is perfect

So give room for human imperfection. No matter how nice the fellow seem, allow him some space for misbehavior in your mind. That way you will easily overlook his frailty when it shows up.

3.       Never expect too much from people/ Limit your trust in man

Even the bible declares that “cursed is he who puts his trust in man”

4.       Understand that forgiveness doesn’t mean giving the fellow an opportunity to hurt you again.

This was my major flaw. I would hold a grudge cos i do not want the fellow to repeat his actions again but truth is, you can forgive the fellow and set boundaries. For example

From BFFs we could become acquaintance, from close pals we could become “hello and hi” friends etc

I believe an exception to this rule is in case of exposure to danger cos it will be foolishness to hand over your drink to someone who once poisoned you.

5.       Be your own best friend

Enjoy your own company. Enjoy being by yourself that way you will stop seeking every Tom, Dick and Harry to make you feel happy.

6.       Always remember this part of Our Lord’s Prayer “Forgive us our trespasses, AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US”

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Life can be a better place if we carry less grudge and bitterness in our heart

It is a new year, no matter how hard it seem

LEARN HOW TO FORGIVE

P.S: This was originally a note to me. I am sharing cos it might be of help to someone